• RANDOMS

    Deals gone bad; Lady cuts off man’s penis

    A young lady who claims to be a student of IMSU purposely cut off man’s manhood yesterday in Owerri. According to an eyewitness  ‘Amb Ahanotu Chimereze- a journalist with NTA, he had found the girl panting in front of the ATM at fidelity bank Douglas road. When he enquired what the matter was, he was told by an eyewitness that the girl had chopped off a man’s penis and was reluctant to pay the sum for the treatment. Amb Ahanotu decided to hear from the horse’s mouth. She confirmed it, saying  it was the work of the devil. What started as six thousand naira a night rendezvous after the guy…

  • MUSINGS

    God of consuming fire

    After the Otedola’s inferno, I woke up to series of whatsapp broadcast messages and voice notes from a supposed pastor, predicting the dates of doom. First I was struck with shock, then fear and later anger. I found myself asking supposing this is true what then do we do? Sit and pray or wait in our respective homes till the dates elapse? Or do we see reason to scrutinize our country’s structures and the loopholes here and there. It is painful that these tragedies are avoidable but then our programmed thinking and the Nigerian culture of crass indiscipline, corruption, and dishonesty wouldn’t let us be. Rather we would heap the…

  • RANDOMS

    Is my son queer?

    I am a married woman with three children- two boys and a girl. My first child is a boy of ten years old who will be entering secondary school soon. I am worried about him. Worried about how he would cope in secondary school being an effeminate. Right from when he was a year old, he has always had a love for girly things- Barbie dolls, chewing gums and the colour pink. We had thought it was a phase that would go away with time, but with each passing year we fear it would remain so forever and maybe one day one psychopath would lynch him for walking like a…

  • FICTION

    How to keep a man

    In a crowded bus coming from Bendel you would see a pretty lady sitting at the back row, face pressed on the window. Her name is Onome. Her facebook profile reads ‘Lady gaga’ while her twitter handle reads something in the lines of ‘fair goddess’ but her complexion says otherwise. She is the colour of burnt yams, a streak of brown here, and then black there. Onome wants you to believe she is happy. To her, happiness is something you feign till you get it right. She doesn’t want you to think her life is miserable and she wakes each day feeling angry. Far from it, this pretty lady is…

  • DIARY

    Dealing with peer pressure

      Last vacation, I went home to the news that my junior brother- a boy of fourteen years had been initiated into the realms of cultism. First, I went through shock, a coldness creeping into my core, shaking the fibre of my being, while a quiet voice kept muttering ‘it can’t be true’. I couldn’t believe that a boy I trusted so well, who had showed such high promise could wallow in such stupidity to the extent of having the effrontery of subscribing to such horrendous idea. Common, this was a boy who had showed a special liking to books, and could read better than my other siblings. I was…

  • DIARY

    Sodom and Gommorah

    Everytime I pick a pen to write about living in Owerri, I feel weighed down by how lengthy it would be, and how detailed it should be. Like Hey girl, you shouldn’t leave anything out, paint it the way it is. I was nineteen when I first came to Owerri. A young girl who couldn’t differentiate her vagina from her vulva. A fresher tossed into the state varsity who knew next to nothing about the city. I remember too well that it was in that same year that I had experienced the ills of generalization and felt distraught on how society perceived Owerri ladies. It seemed like just yesterday that…

  • DIARY

    What it feels like to be me

    I’m lying on the bed, having the worst of cramps, trying so hard not to snap or yell at my roomies who are preparing for lectures. It is 8:14AM and there is just a shaft of sun ray in the room, fusing with the electric light to give us illumination. I have been thinking a lot since I woke up. Of childhood. Little beginnings and once in a while surprises. Growing up, I had wanted so much to be an adult within a twinkle of an eye. I wanted to wear pretty dress, have boyfriends and paint my lips a screaming red. No one told me to be careful of…

  • Uncategorized

    Memories

    Sometimes I can not differentiate my past from my dreams. They come in  same shade of sepia, fusing into one body. One. I’m falling into a bottomless pit. Down, down, down I go. My voice stretched so thin as I call my mother. ‘Mummy!!!’ ‘Hang in there’ her voice reverberates. ‘The pastor will soon be here’ ‘Mummy!!!’ ‘You’re covered by the blood of Jesus. Nothing will happen to you’ ‘Mummy!!!’ I fall into something hard and soft; my father’s chest. ‘Why didn’t you call me’ he asks. I wake up panting.   Two. Mother is heavily pregnant. I meet her in labour pains after school. ‘Get the baby bag at…

  • RANDOMS

    Waist Training! Are there lurking dangers?

    Whether getting the much craved hourglass figure, losing post-pregnancy bump or losing abdominal fat, waist trainer dangers cannot be overemphasized. Yea, many people want to get a banging shape. We want to look attractive and make jaws drop. No wonder the hour glass shape is trending. And those people many of us look up to fashion- wise, keep flaunting it across social media platforms. The danger that lurks within, is that many people buy into it and are misled with their eyes blind to the dangers of waist trainers. It is good to lose weight and be in shape, but we advice you do it in a healthy way. You…

  • DIARY

    Dear Diary

    I saw a question on quora today. ‘What bothers you about Nigeria’. The answers were the usual; corruption, poor economy, terrorism, over population etc. I found myself engrossed in these answers, reading and shrinking in shame. Wondering when it would all get better. When we wouldn’t have to answer silly questions about the country. The sight of a madman having breakfast of stale bread dunked in a puddle by the roadside reminded me of yet another problem in Nigeria. And yes, one of the things that bothers me most about Nigeria is the way mental issues are sidelined and tagged spiritual. In secondary school I had a classmate who sometimes…

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